I asked my followers on Instagram what they would like to know about depression before I started my interview for the month and I received a response that really stood out to me- “How can someone without depression understand what it feels like?”
Because I have been living with depression my whole life, it never occurred to me that other people didn’t know what it was like. I felt like it was the easiest concept in the world when it is probably the hardest.
So, when I started my interview with Kerri. I kept in mind that I should ask her about what others could do to understand depression more and the people it affects.
Kerri is a peer specialist at NAMI which stands for National Alliance on Mental Illness and, as you can guess, they dedicate themselves to building better lives for Americans affected with mental illness. She has been working there for 16 years and loves the work she is doing.
“I just feel urgency that other people are going through the same thing. I would come across friends and colleagues that had the same thing and needed some guidance,” she said. “And when I started to heal, that’s when I started to feel that compassion component, that empathy component for people.”
Kerri explained that her job allows her to counsel others and understand their experiences, helping them to heal. She wants to help others heal because she knows their pain and wants them to heal like she did.
One of the things that Kerri helps people with is depression. She explained that depression makes it hard for people to function. When people are depressed, they feel tired, have anxiety, get angry, and maybe have suicidal feelings.
When they go through this type of thing, she says for people who want to help, “the answer is respect for the person and getting them empowered to deal with whatever it is.”
This caused me to think about that question I was asked. How can we understand so we can help?
Kerri shared, “Think of your darkest, deepest moments. We’ve all had them. Take that worst moment you can possibly feel and times it by ten. Because that’s the best way to explain to somebody who’s never been there.”
She began to tell me a story of when she and a couple of representatives from NAMI went to the capitol to fight for people who need medications and other things.
While they were up there, the legislators there didn’t understand and didn’t take what they were saying seriously.
There was one legislator who came up to them afterwards. That legislator explained that she knew that what they were doing was important because she had a mother with depression.
This further made Kerri realize that it is “all a matter of experiencing it”.
The first think that came to her mind to help those who suffer from depression is to not judge.
“Let them talk and get their feelings out. So, try to have compassion as much as possible.”
Another way that people can help others was with an anagram. She said that at NAMI they have a anagram that spells ALGE. The A stands for advocate, the L for listen non-judgmentally, G for get help, and the E stands for encourage to get help.
“We’re saying non judgmental is the best way because we want so badly to connect with somebody that can understand.” These are a couple of things that one can do to help someone with depression or any other mental illness.
I understood why she said that it’s better if you understand. For many years I have talked to people who have gone through hard things.
One girl I knew came to me one day to talk about anxiety and how I handle it. We talked for at least an hour about mental illness and about how much of a struggle it is. I understood her.
Kerri has had a similar experience.
“I had panic attacks for many years and have been around many different people,” she said. “There’s one person that I remember that totally understood me. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she understood and she just sat there and held my hand and stared me in the eyes.”
For those of you who don’t have depression. Don’t worry about not having the experience or the understanding to help. Like Kerri says, the most important thing that you can do is to not judge and to just be there for them.
Depression can be really hard to handle and it can be hard for those who have depression to find people who are just willing to be there. When they have someone who they can trust, life can be a lot easier. Make life easier for those in need.
Penned by Rose 